Thursday, November 02, 2006

I am currently awaiting the arrival of a life insurance agent (because my life is just that exciting!) but I felt like writing a little. Today at work we participated in an educational event at a school, so the flow of the day was each period of the high school day I had five to ten minutes of intense activity followed by 30 or 40 minutes of mind-numbing waiting. That is not healthy, especially not for me. Suffice it to say I begin to understand the old chestnut that "An idle mind is the devil's workshop."

I think I need some adventure in my life. The problem is, I have no clue how to get it. I'm still far too much in love with my husband to seek out sexual or relationship adventure. I'm far too conventionally employed and far too committed to raising my son and sending him to college to undertake any kind of adventure that begins with, "I'll just quit my job and...." And we don't have the kind of disposable income to take on some adventurous hobby, at least, not any that I've been able to think of thus far. Adventure seems to take a lot of time and money, both of which I'm pretty short on.

But I sure would like to have that thrill of being totally engaged in something, getting the adrenal rush of putting myself on the line and facing down my fears. I'd like to challenge myself physically, meet new people, go new places, have new experiences. Frankly, I'd like to have one thing in my life that is all about me.

That may be the biggest thing, really. Not that I don't LOVE the life I have, but sometimes it feels like it is mostly about everyone else but me. At work I feel responsible for my team and, to a lesser extent, for the well-being of all the employees. At home I'm wife and mother. Other parts of my time are full of church choir and room parent volunteering and helping lead the Boy Scout troop. Good things, things I enjoy doing, certainly. But not a lot about me.

Sigh. I'm sure this will pass. But just in case anybody out there is reading this and feels moved to send me some thrill-seeking ideas consistent with my overall values, I'm open!!

1 comment:

Oberon said... are beautiful....susan.